A Day of Sorrow, A Day of Praise

Well we have had a long couple of days. Many of you may have heard bits and pieces of the story, so to clarify, I thought I would put it all down here.

On Sunday night, June 8th, Emily was experiencing a new pain that she hadn't felt in her 33 weeks of pregnancy. It was a pain that was shooting down her back on the left side. She called in to the on-call Dr at the hospital who said it was likely an issue with her colon and that she should see if she could sleep through it and discuss it with our regular Dr at our scheduled meeting on Monday morning.

Monday, June 9th - 10:00 AM

We went in and met with our Dr. After waiting for an hour, we finally got into see him and within 15 minutes he told us to head on over to Labor and Delivery for some testing. We walked over to L&D and they hooked Matthew and Caleb (in her tummy) to some machinery to check their heartbeats and Emily's contractions. Matthew's heartbeat was measuring in the mid 130's (normal baby heartbeats are between 120 and 180 beats per minute), but Caleb's was measuring in the 60's. The early speculation was that Caleb's measurement was actually Emily's heartbeat and that is why it was so much lower. If not, that would be a sign that something might be wrong with Caleb (this was made known to me later).

They brought in a Pulse Ox to measure Emily's heartbeat. If it came up different than Caleb's, then that would prove that the beat in 60's was actually Caleb's. Unfortunately, the Pulse Ox wasn't working. They brought in another one a few minutes later and it wasn't working, either. Finally, the third one worked and it showed that Emily's heart beat was in the 80's, while Caleb's was still in the 60's. At this point, the nurse made an emergency call into the Dr.

At the same time, Emily's back was beginning to swell where her pain was and she was beginning to shiver uncontrollably because of the pain. The nurse and I did what we could to stop the shivering, but it wouldn't stop.

Monday, June 9th - 11:15am

The Dr on the floor came to look at the situation and as soon as he saw that Caleb's heart beat was in the 60's and Emily was swelling in her back, he looked to me and said we were having the babies in the next 30 minutes. Not aware of the danger yet, I was rather excited that we were about to have our twins. Emily told me to go call our moms to let them know what was going on. I was gone for about 5 minutes calling and when I got back, all of the nurses and Emily were gone and the room was empty.

Monday, June 9th - 11:20am

I was a little confused as to why they were in such a rush to do everything and began to worry a little bit. Our Dr. entered the room and would soon confirm my fears. He informed me that all of the symptoms pointed to the fact that Emily probably had a torn placenta. This means that the blood that should be going to Caleb to support his heart beat was leaking into Emily's body. I asked him what this meant for the health of our son and he told me that we would just have to wait and see because he couldn't tell anything until he got did the surgery. When I asked him to clarify if we were talking about short term or long term issues, he responded again that we would have to wait and see. At that point, I broke down at the thought of something happening to our dear son Caleb.

It wasn't even on my radar that this might have a negative affect on Emily. Finally, it popped in my mind to ask how she would be. The Dr. responded that we will just have to wait and see. My stomach began to knot up. I asked him to clarify what this means. He told me that this was not a good situation for her. Again, I asked him to give me specifics of what this situation meant for my wife.

It was then that he informed me that there was a 20% chance that Emily would not make it through the surgery. He tried to reassure me that he did 3 of these in the previous week and that everything turned out fine with those. At that point, he had to leave to perform the surgery

Monday, June 9th - 11:25am

This was not something that was expected so we didn't have all of the family in the hospital room awaiting the birth of our children. Instead it was me in there alone, left to think over the fact that 20 minutes from now I may not have a wife or children. Or I may have children without a wife. Or maybe a wife with no children. My life could have changed in an instant.

I made a few calls over the next 5 minutes to friends and family so they could pray for us and calm me down. I spent the next 20 minutes pacing around the hospital room sobbing uncontrollable, gagging, and praying.

I have witnessed many things over the past few years that have reminded me that being a Christian does not mean that everything ends up the way you want it. I pleaded with God that he would not take my wife and children home just yet. As scared as I was, I trusted that no matter what happened in that operating room with my family, I knew it would be for my good and for His glory. God's faithfulness does not mean my temporal happiness. He will mold His children into His image, sometimes by methods that we can't understand.

Monday, June 9th - 11:50am

A sweet nurse with an English accent (I can't remember her name) came in and offered to pray for me. I guess she heard my sobs through the door. Just as we were about to pray together, I saw my Dr. walk through the door. As I stood up to greet him, he looked at me with a smile and gave me two thumbs up. That snapshot is frozen in my mind and I will never forget it. He quickly told me that the babies came out kicking and screaming and that Emily was doing fine. Our God is faithful!! I want to make it clear that our God would have been faithful even if the Dr would have walked in the room and told me that my wife and children didn't make it. His faithfulness is not changed by what happens to us. He is always faithful to his plan of redeeming his people!!

Monday, June 9th - 12:30pm

By this time, family and friends started showing up to the hospital and Emily was brought back in to the room. Nothing can express the joy I felt seeing my wife again after thinking an hour ago, I may never see her again. She spent the next three hours making inappropriate morphine driven comments to all of the people in the room. For example -

Tim: Emily, I wanted to let you know your parents are here.

Emily: Whatever!!

Another one - Emily: (with me talking in the background) That boy never stops talking.

Another - Nurse: (telling us a story about a former patient) They wouldn't let them in

Emily: They wouldn't let Mary and Joseph in either.

Finally - Tim: Emily, you need to keep your oxygen mask on

Emily: You are such a goody two shoes.

Monday, June 9th - 2:45pm

At this point, we had still not seen our babies. The nurses kept reassuring us that everything was ok and they were just "stabilizing" them. At last, after three hours of waiting, they brought in our babies in the unit the were using to transport them to Cooks downtown. I must admit that it was a little frightening seeing our "stabilized" babies with breathing tubes in their mouth, tubes down their throats, sensors stuck all over their bodies and constant beeping noises echoing in the tiny chamber they were both crammed in.

Emily's eyes had been closed since the time they brought her back from surgery. The nurses assured me that she would wake up when the babies were brought in, but I assured them that there was no way she would wake up. Sure enough, when they brought them in her motherly instinct kicked in an she opened her eyes, sat up a little and reached out her hand and touched her son Caleb. That is the first memory Emily has after her surgery.

Now for the bad news...Emily was at Harris Southwest and could not leave for the next couple days. The babies were at Cooks downtown. That means that outside of the two minutes Emily was able to spend with her sons in a quasi-sleep state of mind, she wouldn't be able to see her boys for at least the next couple of days.

Monday, June 9th - 5:30pm

After giving them an hour or two to get the boys set up at Cooks, I wanted to make the trip to spend some time with my sons. I got to Cooks and went through the standard procedure to get ino the NICU (Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit)...washed my hands and arms for three minutes, rubbed anti-bacterial gel on my hands, and suited up in my gown and gloves. I went to see Caleb first because he was closest (I want to make it clear there is no favoritism amongst my sons...I had to see one of them first). Not everyone has experienced seeing there child in a spaceship looking chamber covered with tape, tubes and wires everywhere. I don't recommend it!!

At first, Caleb was really struggling with his breathing and he was having to work very heard for each breath. They use a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) to assist him with his breathing. Because they were both born 6 weeks early, their lungs were not fully developed and they need help breathing. The nurses use the example of how hard it is to blow up a balloon for the first time compared to later times. The CPAP is helping them consistently blow up the balloon because their little lungs can't do it completely now because it is a new balloon.

Caleb is also having issues with low blood pressure and an arrhythmic beat. The neonatolagist said that both of these are relatively common with premature babies and fall within "normal" conditions for babies born at the gestational age of 34 weeks.

This is a picture of our sweet Caleb getting some sleep!!

At this point, I guess I should have taken care of some housekeeping issues:

Caleb - 5 lbs 8 ounces and 16.9 inches long
Matthew - 6lbs 7 ounces and 19.2 inches long


Despite their great weight, their lungs were a little underdeveloped (common for preemies)


After seeing Caleb, I have to dispose of my old gown and gloves, wash up, and put on a new gown and gloves before I can see his brother. Matthew was in much better condition than his brother. At this point, he needed help with his lungs, but nothing else.

This is Matthew resting with his blanket that Emily slept with her first night at the hospital. They give these to babies in the NICU so they can recognize their Mom's scent.

Where we are now...

Tuesday and Wednesday were a big blur. Emily really struggled at times with not being able to see her babies and was determined to do whatever it took to get discharged from that hospital. We started pumping in 2 to 3 hour increments about 6 hours after her emergency C-section in which they used general anesthesia (they knocked her out completely). I say "we" because anyone who has witnessed our breast pumping process knows that I am very involved. Probably, too involved. I realize how important every drop of this "liquid gold" "as our lactation consultant calls it) is to our premature babies so I do whatever necessary to maximize production. I will stop there to spare all the readers who are already uncomfortable with my level of detail in regards to my wife's breast pumping.


The nurses said she could try to stand up the following day if she felt up to it. We took a walk around our wing of the hospital about 12 hours after the surgery on the first night. She was so aggressive and put herself through so much pain so that she could see her boys. Our Dr. set a goal of her getting released on Thursday morning (3 days after the surgery). She was discharged just over 48 hours after the surgery.


Running on fumes due to lack of sleep the following two nights, we went straight to the NICU so that Emily could see and touch our boys. Not surprisingly, she was overcome with emotion when she got to see her boys for the first time in over two days. Very little has changed with the boys condition although Caleb's blood pressure seems to be doing a bit better. Despite the seemingly minimal progress in the boys' condition, the nursing staff is very encouraged by said "progress". They've tried to remove Matthew's CPAP a few times, but his lungs weren't ready for it. They expect that by Monday he will be breathing on his own with no help.

This was Emily seeing Matthew for the first time (non-drugged)

During on of my visits to the NICU today, I spoke with the neonatologist about our boys. He painted a realistic picture of what to expect. It was wonderful to hear how knowledgeable he was about our sons. He knew every detail about the delivery and what they had been doing at Cooks. He informed me that he expects them to be out of the NICU and home with us in the next 2-3 weeks, but that we should plan for 6 weeks. I could not ask for a better team to be taking care of our boys. For those of you who have endured this "mother of all blog posts", I would like to leave you with a few prayer requests:

• Caleb's blood pressure would stabilize, specifically, that his mean blood pressure would remain above 40.


• Caleb's arrhythmic heart beat would remain under control. The doctor said it would likely go away, but there is a chance it won't. If not, please pray that it would not cause any issues down the road


• Both of the boys lungs need to further develop.


• Both Emily and I are completely exhausted and need rest. It is very hard to sleep under these conditions


• Please pray that through all of this, that God would be glorified. That we would say "Why us?" not with a complaining heart, but "Why us?" that he would spare the life of my wife and sons. I am undeserving of such a blessing and yet he showers me with his goodness.

I will be posting the video shortly of Emily getting to hold Matthew for the first time!!!