The World of Apnea

We have now entered into a terrible realm that I didn't no existed. They took both of our boys off the CPAP today to see if they could breath on their own. The doctor warned us that although this is what is best for the babies, it is like throwing a kid who doesn't know how to swim in the pool and seeing if he will drown. You know that he will kick and scream and at times will begin to sink to the bottom. When this happens, they will help him back to the surface of the water and see how long it takes for him to sink again.

There are frequent periods of apnea (drowning, in the pool analogy) during this process. Over a 2.5 hour period, our son Matthew stopped breathing for about 10-15 seconds 5 times. That may not seem like a long time, but I can assure you that when you are watching your son's every breath it feels like an eternity. They typically breath about 80 times per minute or almost one and a half times per second. Now think of the terror of not seeing their lungs move for 15 seconds straight. The worst part is that the nurses/doctors told us that we shouldn't do anything until they go 20 seconds without breathing.

We are in the process of training the boys to breath. Because they were born early, they're bodies are not mature enough to breath on their own. By waiting 20 seconds, we are training the boys that if they stop breathing, they need to remind themselves to initiate a breath. If we were to stimulate them everytime they stopped breathing, we would be training them that everytime they stop breathing, we will be there to remind them to breath. So we are supposed to sit and watch our boys breathless for 20 seconds before we step in.

Despite the doctors reassuring us that these apnea epsiodes are completely normal, it will never be completely normal for us to watch our boys stop breathing for periods of up to 20 seconds. Emily kicked me out of the NICU today because I couldn't hold it together after a while. I guess because of her experience in the medical field she can tolerate more than I can.

After all of the apneic episodes, the doctor decided to give Matthew some help with his breathing in the form of a nasal cannula. This is less assistant than the CPAP, but should help him with his breathing while we are in the process of weening him.

The good news is that Caleb has not experienced even one episode like this. His blood pressure has strengthened and his breathing is much improved. They removed the IV from his belly and Emily was able to hold him today for what she deemed "an hour she will never forget". The nurses said it is likely that if his SATS remain strong for the next 24 hours, they would move him to the "progressive" room. This is where they prepare them to go home. This process can take anywhere from 5 days to months, depending on the child.

Despite how long it takes, it is a step in the right direction. The recipe for a NICU baby going home is the ability to nipple feed (out of a bottle), breath consistently and maintain their temperature. This is our long term prayer for both boys.

The short term prayer is for the boys to "remember" to breath. They are still in a sleepy state in which their brains don't send all the signals that their body needs...including to breath. Even though it was a trying day for us as parents, it was a good day. Hopefully tomorrow both of our boys will be able to stay "above water" the entire day. I don't think I can take too many more apneic episodes.

Thanks for the prayers!!

Here is a picture of little Caleb after he got his CPAP off.

Look how cute Matthew is trying to pull out his feeding tube...it looks like he is growin a tape goatee!!!

The grandmas have been so wonderful through everything!!!